"If you write, one of the questions you're always trying to answer is, Where do you get your ideas? And, if you write, you know how pointless a question this is and how difficult it is to answer."

"Wisdom principle 69 tells us that the journey of life is lesson 28."

"No one uses a ribbon typewriter any more, but your final draft is not the time to try to wring a few more sheets out of your inkjet cartridge."

"A good short-story writer has an instinct for sketching in just enough background to ground the specific story."

"You know, sex is actually not so original as the way people love or the stories behind each relationship, which is what you remember. Sex is sex in the end."

"I love to put on lotion. Sometimes I'll watch TV and go into a lotion trance for an hour. I try to find brands that don't taste bad in case anyone wants to taste me."

"In the arithmetic of human affection, the more you give, the more you retain. Reflect upon this whenever doubt clouds your horizon."

"Mind you, I've always been a very off-message type of fat broad one who gladly admits she reached the size she is now solely through lack of discipline and love of pleasure, and who rather despises people (except those with proven medical conditions) who pretend that it is generally otherwise."