"The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to."

"If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it."

"Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing."

"When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us."

"Never complain and never explain."

"A mindful spirit recognizes that every ending is merely a new beginning in disguise."

"In every advanced mammalian species that survives and thrives, a common anthropological characteristic is the fierce behavior of the adult female of the species when she senses a threat to her cubs. The lioness, the tigress and the mama bear are all examples."

"One swallow does not make a spring, nor does one fine day."