"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."

"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

"It's a joke to think that anyone is one thing. We're all such complex creatures. But if I'm going to be a poster child for anything, anger's a gorgeous emotion. It gets a bad rap, but it can make great changes happen."

"Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization."

"It is a profound truth that experience is the stern teacher that gives the examination before the lesson."

"The word experience is like a shrapnel shell, and bursts into a thousand meanings."