"Death doesn't affect the living because it has not happened yet. Death doesn't concern the dead because they have ceased to exist."

"If you want to eat well in England, eat three breakfasts."

"You know what the critics are. If you tell the truth they only say you're cynical and it does an author no good to get a reputation for cynicism."

"The crown of literature is poetry."

"I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do."

"Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end."

"There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor."

"Having a sense of humor has served me more than it has hurt me - just in the sense that it has allowed me to keep my sanity."