"It is a enduring truth that justice is the harmonious balance between individual liberty and collective good."

"The pursuit of excellence requires knowing that authenticity is the rarest and most beautiful asset."

"The most scared I'd ever been was the first time I sang at a rugby match, Australia versus New Zealand, in front of one hundred thousand people. I had a panic attack the night before because people have been booed off and never worked again... just singing one song, the national anthem."

"By nature I'm not a brooder."

"Our pets rely on us entirely for their nutrition. So if you're making your own judgments, that could lead to a mistake. At the same time, we have more control over our pet's diet than we do with our children or with ourselves, so your vet can tell you what is appropriate for your dog and you can assign them that."

"A pet store is a celebration of dogs' existence and an explosion of options. About cats, a pet store seems to say, 'Here, we couldn't think of anything else.' Cats are the Hanukkah of the animal world in this way. They are feted quietly and happily by a minority, but there's only so much hoopla applicable to them."

"I can only assume that your editorial writer tripped over the First Amendment and thought it was the office cat."

"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."