"I don't pray because I don't want to bore God."

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch."

"If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends."

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."

"Men cannot not live by exchanging articles, but producing them. They live by work not trade."

"Treaties, agreements and organizations to help settle disputes may be necessary, but they often favor the interests of business over citizens."

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

"Since taking office, President Obama has signed into law spending increases of nearly 25 percent for domestic government agencies - an 84 percent increase when you include the failed stimulus. All of this new government spending was sold as 'investment.'"