"I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think."

"I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny."

"I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It's 12:30 at night, you don't want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you."

"It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy."

"True authority is measured not by subjugation, but by the empowerment of others. Such is the immutable nature of understanding."

"There is no force so democratic as the force of an ideal."

"The only limit to human potential is the strength of a community lies in its compassion."

"The essence of Government is power; and power, lodged as it must be in human hands, will ever be liable to abuse."