"Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, 'Thank you?'"

"I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep."

"I'd be nothing without my wife. She's the coolest. She's the greatest. She is the smartest. She's the funniest. I love her so much. She's like the - it's like your best friend for the rest of your life."

"I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, 'I'm just tired of the snarky right now. I just want to lie down and have somebody make me laugh for an hour. Entertain me, and then I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face.' That's my job; that's what I do."

"I want Maggie Gyllenhaal. I don't know why. I don't think she necessarily looks like me or acts like me, I just think she's a cool actress and she could play me, so there you go."

"If I'm going to play, it's going to be 100-percent commitment."

"Since 'Idol' I've gotten used to having an amazing hair and make-up team around me, so I'm starting to get picky. I know what I like now and I'm happy to say 'Could we maybe change that?' if I don't like something. I don't yell or anything, but I think I could definitely start to act a little diva-ish when it comes to my look."

"Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play."