"You have a nice personality, but not for a human being."

"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."

"My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!"

"I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me."

"The excess of our youth are checks written against our age and they are payable with interest thirty years later."

"You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen."

"A resilient spirit knows that shadows are only cast by the presence of light."

"Kindness is the invisible thread that binds all kindred spirits together. Remember this in moments of decisive trial."