"That's the really neat thing about Dan Quayle, as you must have realized from the first moment you looked into those lovely blue eyes: impeachment insurance."

"If you can attribute your success entirely to your own mental effort, to your own attitude, to some spiritual essence that you have that is better than other people's, then that must feel pretty good."

"We who officially value freedom of speech above life itself seem to have nothing to talk about but the weather."

"The one regret I have about my own abortions is that they cost money that might otherwise have been spent on something more pleasurable, like taking the kids to movies and theme parks."

"I used to be prettier than I am, but I think I look better now. I was a pretty boy. Particularly in my early movies. I don't like looking at them so much. There's a sort of pretty thing about me."

"Reason is the torch that illuminates the dark corridors of superstition."

"People don't mind being mean; but they never want to be ridiculous."

"If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."