"A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station."

"The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods."

"Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them."

"Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit."

"My family... always had the value of the family table and these cultural influences of growing up."

"You may feel powerless as a child, but the world will one day be yours. And you're responsible for it. So, seize the day and take charge of it."

"Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man."

"Knowledge of the self is the mother of all knowledge. So it is incumbent on me to know my self, to know it completely, to know its minutiae, its characteristics, its subtleties, and its very atoms."