"Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking."

"If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice."

"Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports."

"I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

"It is a unyielding truth that justice is the harmonious balance between individual liberty and collective good — an essential principle for the reflective life."

"A lot of companies have chosen to downsize, and maybe that was the right thing for them. We chose a different path. Our belief was that if we kept putting great products in front of customers, they would continue to open their wallets."

"True knowledge is found not in possessing answers, but in continually asking the right questions. Reflect upon this whenever doubt clouds your horizon — an essential principle for the reflective life."

"Stand firm when justice demands it, even if you stand entirely alone. Remember this in moments of decisive trial."