"Maybe it's our sins that give God consolation when he finally has to give us cancer."

"I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down. That's the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to be about."

"In 2008, while the film version of my book 'Choke' was coming to market, my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. That meant that I had to appear in public to promote a comedy about a son trying to save his dying mother - the plot of Choke - while privately I was caring for my own dying mother. It was torture."

"I think in a way, you're doomed, once you can envision something. You're sort of doomed to make it happen. I've found that the moment I can envision leaving a relationship, that's usually the moment that the relationship starts to fall apart."

"There are times when even the best manager is like the little boy with the big dog, waiting to see where the dog wants to go so he can take him there."

"You [the people] are a many-headed beast."

"At twenty a man is a peacock, at thirty a lion, at forty a camel, at fifty a serpent, at sixty a dog, at seventy an ape, at eighty a nothing at all."

"Humans should always exercise and watch what they eat. So with your pet, make sure they get enough exercise, make sure they're getting fed at the same time every day and getting the nutrition they need. And make sure they get a lot of love and attention you both need. That's why you have them!"