"You could afford your house without the government if it weren't for the government."

"For the last five years, we have been presented with the idea that Barack Obama is superhuman. Barack Obama is unlike any of us or anyone else. And he isn't. In fact, he's much less achieved and much less accomplished than most who have gotten half as far as he has, and I think maybe what we saw was the best."

"Militant feminists are pro-choice because it's their ultimate avenue of power over men. And believe me, to them it is a question of power. It is their attempt to impose their will on the rest of society, particularly on men."

"Enraging liberals is simply one of the more enjoyable side effects of my wisdom."

"If you don't know how to die, don't worry Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you don't bother your head about it."

"No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you'll find the positive side of things."

"It is a steadfast truth that we do not remember the passing of hours, but the resonance of moments — an essential principle for the reflective life."

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."