"I have pictures of me sitting in the racquetball court in my pajamas with an acoustic guitar, and Wolfgang is probably just two-and-a-half-feet tall. I'll never forget the day I saw his foot tapping along in beat! I knew then, I couldn't wait for the day I'd be able to make music with my son. I don't know what more I could ask for."

"I just consider myself slightly left-of-center. I'm not your average bear. I - what's the word? I'm not - normal."

"I destroyed a lot of guitars trying to get them to do what I wanted, but I learned something from every guitar I tore apart, and discovered even more things. Things like if the string is not straight from the bridge saddle to the nut, you're going to have friction."

"It's always a Catch-22 situation. They hate you if you're the same, and they hate you if you're different."

"A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside."

"It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean."

"The humanists' replacement for religion: work really hard and somehow you'll either save yourself or you'll be immortal. Of course, that's a total joke, and our progress is nothing. There may be progress in technology but there's no ethical progress whatsoever."

"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it."