"I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time."

"My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere."

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

"The courts are using the First Amendment to attack religion, when they should be using it to protect religion."

"I say, don't try to fight your own battles because God will do it."

"Religion flourishes in greater purity, without than with the aid of Government."

"Religion is the last refuge of human savagery."