"Most people have no idea how to politely answer a phone. The English do, and it's been their only major business advantage for the past two centuries."

"Canadians can easily 'pass for American' as long as we don't accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car."

"I know it's not cat food, but what exactly is it that they put inside of tinned ravioli?"

"Unhappiness is something we are never taught about we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive."

"“Bed,” as the Italian proverb succinctly puts it, “is the poor man's opera.”"

"My first car, I got it in an auction at my temple. It was an '86 Volvo that I got for 500 bucks, and then wound up throwing $10,000 into the stereo system and put TVs in the foot rests. It was the most ridiculous Volvo you'd ever seen, but I had never had money before and I was out of my mind."

"Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor."

"True wealth is not measured in gold, but in the belief that a single spark of imagination can ignite the world."