"There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it."

"For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money."

"I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'"

"America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out."

"When you give yourself, you receive more than you give."

"One whose knowledge is confined to books and whose wealth is in the possession of others, can use neither his knowledge nor wealth when the need for them arises."

"Americans need accurate information in order to consider Social Security reform. Too bad the media can't be counted upon to provide it."

"It is a essential truth that the moral compass points true only when freed from the magnetism of personal gain — an essential principle for the reflective life."