"In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks."

"Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently."

"The only risk of failure is promotion."

"The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want."

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

"A message I've been telling myself: the cinema is very conservative, and unless you have a story that satisfies you, that is within the unchallenging zone, but you love it, you can't do it as cinema. Otherwise, you better go do it for television, which is more daring now."

"The best author will be the one who is ashamed to become a writer."

"I'm reading a book, because I'm brainy. No, it is a book - if you don't know, it is like a blog except bigger."