Quotes by Josh Billings

"Laffing iz the sensation ov pheeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot."

"It iz better tew know nothing than tew know what ain't so."

"Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got."

"Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius."

"Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at."

"Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute."

"Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected."

"One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness."

"Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope."

"Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined."

"There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins."

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there."

"Men mourn for what they have lost women for what they ain't got."

"The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease."

"Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread."

"As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand."

"There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying."

"To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while."

"Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors."

"Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail."