Quotes by Rita Rudner

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

"There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better."

"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."

"To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'"

"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."

"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."

"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."

"To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'"

"I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again."

"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."