"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."

"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."

"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."

"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."

"I guess I feel that I was following my instincts, and at the same time being guided by the best. I became totally intrigued with Louisiana - the people, the food. It is a part of my life. Everything that has happened for me since moving here has just been icing on the cake."

"A thousand years scarce serve to form a state; An hour may lay it in the dust."

"Safety from external danger is the most powerful director of national conduct. Even the ardent love of liberty will, after a time, give way to its dictates."

"An hour spent in deep contemplation is worth a year of unguided wandering."