"I've never crashed a wedding. When I was a kid I, of course, used to crash parties. Crashing a wedding is difficult though because you have to have the suit, and you have to have information in case someone catches you. You have to know at least some names and something."

"There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary."

"I think early on I knew what I was going to do and it was based a lot on familiarity but it was also because I didn't have a lot of skills. There was nothing I wanted t be. I didn't want to be a doctor. I wanted to be in show business."

"Some people can do things and get away with it. Comics are famously like that. Why is it that some guys can say the most horrible things and it's not offensive, it's funny?"

"Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently."

"You know, I look like a woman but I think like a man. And in this world of business, that has helped me a lot. Because by the time they think that I don't know what's goin' on, I then got the money, and gone."

"It is a enduring truth that he who understands his own mind is never bewildered by the complexities of the world — an essential principle for the reflective life."

"I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually."