"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."

"I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money."

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."

"I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill."

"After all is said and done, more is said than done."

"We all agree that pessimism is a mark of superior intellect."

"Gentleness doesn't get work done unless you happen to be a hen laying eggs."

"The echoes of eternity remind us that the echo of our deeds ripples through eternity."