"Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens."

"I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people."

"I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big."

"I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous."

"My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony."

"Joy's smile is much closer to tears than laughter."

"But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know."

"From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked."