Quotes by Andy Rooney

"Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head."

"Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer."

"If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one."

"We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers."

"I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you."

"When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper."

"One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly."

"Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys."

"Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt."

"Nothing in fine print is ever good news."

"It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone."

"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."

"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."

"Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter."

"A writer's job is to tell the truth."

"People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe."

"I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points."

"My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along."

"Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose."

"Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives."