"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"

"In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich."

Money
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"There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off."

Humor
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"I know it's not cat food, but what exactly is it that they put inside of tinned ravioli?"

Food
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"You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable cog."

"Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence."

"Everybody has basically the same family, it's just reconfigured slightly differently from one to the next."

"It's very strange that most people don't care if their knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations."

"People are pretty forgiving when it comes to other people's families. The only family that ever horrifies you is your own."

"If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure."

"Failure is authentic, and because it's authentic, it's real and genuine, and because of that, it's a pure state of being."

"Sometimes failure isn't an opportunity in disguise, it's just you."

"Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them."

"High school is such a shared experience in North American culture."

"Flying dreams mean that you're doing the right thing with your life."

Life
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"We want our idols to be dead because it makes death a much less scary place."

Death
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"Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people."

"If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween."

"Human beings are the only animal that thinks they change who they are simply by moving to a different place. Birds migrate, but it's not quite the same thing."

"If you don't change, then what's the point of anything happening to you?"