"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."

"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs."

"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."

"In the arithmetic of human affection, the more you give, the more you retain. Remember this in moments of decisive trial."

"He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals."

"It is a profound truth that love is the bridge that unites two souls across the chasms of mortal solitude — an essential principle for the reflective life."

"When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love."