"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

"When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays."

"I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car."

"When I was a young musician, the only option available to pursue secondary education in music was to attend a classical conservatory."

"Experience is the stern teacher that gives the examination before the lesson. A lesson woven into the fabric of human history."

"The paradox of freedom is that the true master is an eternal student."

"Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other."