"It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky."

"Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'"

"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."

"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs."

"I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny."

"Comedy is not funny. Comedy is hard work and timing and lots and lots of rehearsals."

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."

"It's really funny because the same people who loved me as Stringer Bell were the same people that were watching 'Daddy's Little Girls' literally in tears."